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Choices Of Where To Give Birth

Most first-time parents, though, opt for hospital births: it just seems safer, somehow. Even after 73 antenatal classes you will only have the sketchiest idea of what is going to happen. You will need to be reassured through this deeply mysterious and mildly terrifying experience, and for most of us that means the bleeping machines, obstetricians in white coats, midwives on tap and unlimited supplies of that five-ply green paper they always mop things up with. 
 
Choices Of Where To Give Birth


If you are thinking of having another baby one day (you aren't, but she will be) you can have a home birth then. Second time around you will have some idea of what to expect, and if you were planning to get the place redecorated anyway, so much the better. 

Water or dry land? Now here's a tricky one. All common sense suggests that a water birth would be messy, dangerous and stressful, and the preference of hippies and show-offs. None of this is true, other than the hippies and show-offs bit. In fact, babies seem to love being born in water. They are in no danger, as their little lungs don't start working until they get their little tap on the arse from the midwife. And warm water is wonderful pain relief for the mother. Floating about like a whale will help reduce the pressure on her abdomen, and she can move more easily into different positions. Also, if you have your trunks handy, you too can have a dip, as long as you don't do anything silly like dive in or do a sneaky pee in the water.
 
The main disadvantage is administrative. Water births can be hard work to fix up, which means hard work for you. More and more hospitals are installing facilities for water births - big deep circular baths of a type often advertised during Countdown for the elderly and infirm. They are excellent, and therefore much in demand. In theory you should be able to book them in advance. 

In practice, when you arrive in the hospital at four in the morning, you get what's offered, and someone else has always blagged the water birth room first; You can always elect to have a water birth at home, which, I can say from experience, is fantastic - but again, might be more trouble than it's worth for first-birthers. For it is none other than you, the father-to-be, who will have to build and fill the bucker, almost certainly in the middle of the night. Something to keep your mind occupied, maybe. A little too much to keep your mind occupied, I found. The instructions said it would take 15 to 20 minutes to build. It took me an hour and a half.
 
Dry land is the default option. Popular amongst frequent flyers and survivors of major maritime disasters, it's what nearly everybody does. And yet when someone has a baby in a film, they still call for towels. So what's the difference?

Drugs or natural childbirth? Another awkward one, although this really is the mother's decision. Some women stagger into hospital screaming for epidurals. Others have spent so long practicing their yoga that they can keep the pain at bay throughout labour. Everyone is different. No one is better than anyone else. And whatever she decides, you can't even begin to contribute. You're not actually in pain, unless she has inadvertently punched you on the way to the hospital Or intentionally. It's possible. Remember, it's all your fault.



In fact, all you need to do here is follow instructions. Do what she says, and be prepared for her to change her mind at the last minute, as may well happen. You have to be light on your feet to get through this childbirth business. To find out more, you can check out Choices Of Where To Give Birth.