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| Determine The Sex Of Your Baby Old Wives Tales |
IS IT YOURS?
Well, is it? Here's a story to consider.
During the American Civil War, at the Battle of Raymond in Mississippi in 1863, a young soldier was hit by a bullet in the scrotum. Fortunately, it left as quickly and cleanly as it had arrived, but when next he looked, his left testicle had gone. Very shortly afterwards, in a nearby house, a 17-year-old girl was also hit by a bullet, in her case in the left side of the abdomen. 278 days later, she gave birth to a healthy 81b boy, 'to the surprise of herself and the mortification of her parents and friends.'
Three weeks later Dr T. G. Capers of Vicksburg operated on the baby, and extracted a miniball. Dr Capers had known the young testicle-deprived soldier, and came to the following startling conclusion: that this was the same miniball that had carried away the lost testicle, that it had penetrated the ovary of the girl and that some unusually hardy spermatozoa had managed to impregnate her. Boldly Dr Capers approached the young man and told him of his theory. The soldier, who obviously had nothing to lose (other than his other testicle), agreed to visit the young mother. They became friends, fell in love, got married and had three more children. None of these resembled the father as strongly as the first.
Oh yes, it's yours all right. Next Question.
IS IT A BOY OR A GIRL?
Heinz had 57 varieties; babies, fortunately, have only two. Everyone, though, has absurdly strong feelings about which of the two they want to have and which of the two they expect to arrive. As it happens, technology exists that can tell you for certain whether you are going to have a boy or a girl. At the first ultrasound scan (of which more later) the person with the white coat and the huge tube of jelly will know instantly, at a single glance. But he/she may not be able to tell you, the parent.
Unfortunately it has come to general notice that certain racial and/or religious sub-groupings in the UK are only interested in having boys, and would be inclined to have girl foetuses terminated without a further thought. Never mind that you may not be a member of any of these sub-groupings and that you wholeheartedly approve of the invention of the wheel. If it's hospital policy, and in cities it often is, the ultrasound person won't tell you. You'll just have to wait until the birth, like the couple with the seven daughters and the wild staring eyes who are next in the queue.
So forget technology. Instead, consult old wives' tales. You might as well. What they may lack in scientific methodology they make up for in sheer weirdness. All the following are guaranteed true - which is to say that some people genuinely believe them to be true, not that they have any bearing on real life whatsoever. And yet, who knows? Did these old wives know something we don't? Or was it the tales that were old, not the wives?
Let's say, then, that you too want a boy. Then, according to folk wisdom, you should have intercourse at night, or on odd days of the month, or standing up, or when there is a quarter moon. The prospective mother should sleep on the left hand side of the bed, and face northwards during intercourse. The Prospective father should be the one to instigate sexual relations, and at all other times drink Coca-Cola.
If you want a girl, both of you should eat fish and vegetables. You should have sex during a full moon, or during the afternoon. The prospective mother must instigate the sex. She should then make sure she reaches orgasm first and after that she should think Pink. You think I'm joking, don't you? In the United Arab Emirates there are only 52 women for every 100 men, and it's illegal to think in any shade vermilion and aquamarine. To find out more, you can check out Determine The Sex Of Your Baby Old Wives Tales.