Restriction Of Pregnancy

No wonder the mother's exhausted. If the physiological upheavals don't get her, the emotional ones will. In the second trimester, during the "glow' or 'bloom', she will be full of energy - enough to retile the bathroom, or build that new wall in the back garden. But for now all she will want to do is lie on the sofa and eat biscuits. Be kind. Encourage her to put her feet up. Score brownie points now, while it's easy to. Above all, be patient. She needs to be looked after. Is there nobody else who can do it? Then you'll have to.
 

Restriction Of Pregnancy

Just watch out for the tears. When she's not tired, she'll probably be crying. Old weepie films will set her off. Country music, the sight of babies in prams, nasty stories in the news, memories of childhood and/or dead relatives or friends ... to be honest, even an unfavorable weather forecast may open the floodgates.

Double your tissue supply and try to remain calm, for this could be the most severe test of your relationship yet. It's bad enough when they cry when there's something wrong, but for many men the non-stop waterworks of the first trimester can prove challenging. If you have had a hard day, you may find yourself glugging the wine with ever-increasing abandon, leading to the first great Vicious Circle Of Pregnancy.

Why should mother-to-be suddenly express concern at your drinking? Because she can't drink herself, of course. Neither can she smoke or take drugs. Her doctor will throw up his hands in horror if she so much as looks at a chunk of unpasteurized cheese. And if she spends too much time surfing the internet, she will read bloodcurdling reports ('US study links coffee and miscarriage') that will stop her doing everything else that is fun, too. Still, you have to be careful. 

Pregnancy is the most extraordinary upheaval. During pregnancy and birth, virtually every part of a woman's body undergoes some form of physiological change. She can have backaches, bleeding gums, piles and nosebleeds. She can suffer nausea, heartburn, stomach cramps, headache, joint pain, indigestion and crippling tiredness, as well as insomnia. Her feet can swell up, her bones can go soft, her saliva can taste disgusting. Have I mentioned varicose veins? Or stretch marks? It's a great list, which contains more than a dozen excellent excuses not to have sex with you. And I bet she can think of a few more.

She can't drink, she can't smoke. Pregnancy experts can roll out endless lists of dos and don'ts, and their long misshapen fingers wag bonily at you should you ignore them. Given the strictness of the advice now on offer, it's amazing that any babies at all are born without two heads or a packet of Benson & Hedges in their top pocket. Here is a quick rundown of some of the restrictions your beloved will now be suffering. You can be sympathetic and understanding, or you can mock loudly - it's up to you.

• Folic acid, which is one of the vitamin B family. Everyone knows that pregnant women should take folic acid supplements (it reduces the risk of some birth defects, like spina bifida). Now, I read that they should ideally 'increase folic acid consumption' not just before conception, but three months before they stop contraception. Does anyone ever find this out in time? Or is this advice put in just to make you feel bad about yourself before you have even started?
• Physical fitness. All mothers to be are constantly bullied on their fitness levels. Paula Radcliffe would probably pass muster, but no one else ever does. Swim 50 lengths a day! Cut out lard from your diet! Eat bananas by the lorryload! Have a leg removed to keep your weight down! By the same token, though, pregnant women must 'avoid violent exercise'. No more rugby league, then, and she may add this to the list of excuses not to have sex with you.

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