I have been writing about pop music for 15 years on and off and I still buy scarcely justifiable quantities of new CDs. And yet, as I walked up the road to the sweet shop this morning, what was I whistling? Could it be the theme tune to Rosie And Jim, a forgotten kids' TV show of the 1990s? 'Rosie and Jim, Rosie and Jim ...' are sadly the only lyrics I know, for this is the featured melody on a tatty plastic musical box our daughter was given when she was six months old. Both our children have since played it to death, and the tune is now hard-wired into my brain. Sometimes I wake up in the night humming it. It's not only the words to nursery rhymes that are evil; the tunes are as well, which is why many of them have survived for hundreds of years.
 |
| Importance Of Teaching Nursery Rhymes |
There is a term, meme, to describe anything, a tune, a phrase, that sticks in your head whether you want it to or not. We are all susceptible to memes. Paul McCartney has composed a few. Advertising copywriters try to write little else. Nursery rhymes are all memes. The TV series The Fast Show was built around catchphrases, which are comedy's memes. Children tune into memes instinctively. Adults distrust them equally instinctively but have little effective defence against them.
How can we expect otherwise? Getting into your head and staying there forever is what memes are for. If we can resist them they aren't memes. Nonetheless, a child's love of memes presents its parents with a challenge. Do you embrace, or reject? Join in, or keep your distance and your dignity? Your response to these questions could determine the whole tone of your parenthood.
Myself, I had never sung anywhere more public than a shower before. I have never contemplated entering 'Stars In Their Eyes' and impersonating Jarvis Cocker or Freddie Mercury for the lipsmacking amusement of millions. But as the father of small children, I have found myself singing the following words under a variety of embarrassing circumstances:
Jelly on a plate. Jelly on a plate. Wibble wobble wibble wobble, jelly on a plate.
(In case you don't know it, I should add that it has a neat little tune, and not a bad second verse: Biscuits in the tin. Biscuits in the tin. Shake 'em up, shake 'em up, biscuits in the tin.)
You will do anything - literally anything - to amuse and distract a baby that is throwing a vast theatrical tantrum when you need it to be quiet. When you are changing a nappy, especially on a slightly undersized table in a department store loo. Or pushing the pushchair when you were supposed to be somewhere else ten minutes ago. On public transport. Especially on public transport. If singing 'Jelly On A Plate' will do it, that's what you will do. And you never know: with a bit of luck another passenger might strike up a harmony.
Row row row your boat, gently down the stream. Merrily merrily merrily merrily, life is but a dream. Row row row your boat, gently down the stream. If you see a crocodile, don't forget to scream. (You emit a tiny strangled scream and the baby laughs.)
Soon you know not just all the nursery rhymes, but their alternative versions as well. For 'Row Row Row Your Boat', for which you row your infant backwards and forwards, there is an optional second verse starting 'Rock rock rock your boat ...', for which you rock your infant from side to side. Then there is the rarely used last verse variant, which goes:
Row row row your boat gently to the shore. If you see a lion there, don't forget to roar. (You emit a tiny strangled roar and the baby laughs. When it can speak it will say 'More' and you will have to do it again and again and again for hours.) To find out more, you can check out Importance Of Teaching Nursery Rhymes.