There is a school of thought that would suggest that all babies are ugly. And it's true that a remarkable number look like Sir Winston Churchill in his later, dribblier years. Occasionally a couple will have a truly hideous baby. It's more likely if they look like gargoyles themselves, but even airbrushed celebrities have suffered this fate, for there is surprisingly little correlation between ugliness at birth and the more profound uglinesses of adulthood.
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| Special Care To Keep Premature Babies Alive |
Several outstandingly hideous babies I have known have become extremely presentable children - although it often goes wrong in adolescence, like so much else. Even the killer combination of weak chin and big flappy ears can sometimes be overcome, and not just by surgery.
But whether or not the baby is ugly doesn't matter that much. What really matters is whether or not you think it's ugly. Her friends and everybody's relatives will coo anyway. Your friends will want to keep away from it however gorgeous it is. The beauty or otherwise of your baby is your concern, and yours only. And I mean you, the father, because the mother will think it's the prettiest baby ever born even if it looks like John Prescott. She is programmed to believe this.
Whereas you will probably look down at your firstborn and think ... it's a baby. (You may be programmed to think this too. After all, biologically you have done your job, and as a healthy, active male of species homo sapiens you should now be looking for someone else to impregnate. Apparently, good looking midwives are always being hit upon by new dads, 'Like being chained to an idiot ...')
So don't worry if your baby is ugly. You will learn to love it. Or maybe not.
'SPECIAL CARE'
Now there's a euphemism to chill the blood. Around ten per cent of newborns require "special care" after birth and are therefore shifted off to the Special Care Baby Unit. This includes premature babies (those born before 37 weeks) and babies weighing less than 5lb 8oz (whether premature or not), as well as babies who have picked up infections or struggled with breathing during birth.
There's nothing wrong, in short, that can't be fixed with a short spell in an incubator, where baby can be monitored and fed intravenously and brought gently into the world. It's worth noting here that infant mortality these days is very low - down to six per 1,000 births. (Half of these are stillbirths.)
In 1850, in England and Wales, around 150 of every 1,000 babies died within the first month - a figure that changed little over the following 50 years. Since then, though, the rate has consistently declined, apart from a brief blip during World War Two. In 1960 it was 20 per 1,000, so huge advances have been made even in the past few years. Bear in mind that around 70 of every 1,000 newborns weigh less than 5lb 8oz, which makes you realise that however tiny and underfed and plain unwell your little baby may look, pure probability is in your favour.
40 years ago twelve per cent of low birth weight babies died in the first month. Now it's around four per cent. There are some babies who are never going to survive. But the vast majority of the rest will pull through. So if your baby is put in an incubator, the first thing is not to panic.
Naturally you will be worried. Possibly even bricking yourself with terror. After the ghastliness of the birth, an incubator may feel like the last straw. But be aware that for the mother it will be even worse. Miriam Stoppard in The New Parent says it's like losing a limb. The baby should be lying in its mother's arms, not under a plastic cover like an old sandwich.
Rationally, you know that unless the baby is seriously ill, it probably will be lying in its mother"s arms within a few days, maybe sooner. But your considerable experience watching bad hospital dramas on TV still leads you to fear the worst. Try and forget all that. Be strong and Clint-like. And keep your angers crossed. To find out more, you can check out Special Care To Keep Premature Babies Alive.