Hooray for endorphins. These delightful little hormones mimic the effects of morphine and help blunt your perception of pain and stress. The brain produces endorphins on an industrial scale during pregnancy and childbirth, and without them the mother of your child would surely go barking mad. But as soon as baby is out in the world and filling 60 nappies a week, her endorphin levels drop sharply. The result is baby blues, the almost universal realisation that this motherhood business is not quite what it was cracked up to be.
 |
| Postnatal Psychosis Symptoms |
Most mothers go into a bit of a decline in the weeks after the birth. They are exhausted, they are recovering from physical trauma and the bloody baby won't stop crying. They may be struggling to cope with the practicalities of parenthood. They may want to give the baby back before the 28-day warranty is up. Thanks, I've tried it, but I don't think this is for me. There must be loads of people out there who wouldn't mind looking after a slightly used baby. What do you there isn't a 28-day warranty? Do you need all the original packaging? We've got the placenta, if that's any help.
The main problem with baby blues is that many mothers don't realize, or acknowledge, that they have them. They just think they are failing to cope. Or they may find the term 'baby blues' so insufferably cutesy - I haven't been able to trace it, but I feel sure that it's American - that they simply refuse to suffer from them. No one wants to be diagnosed with a euphemism. It sounds like the sort of thing the Care Bears would have. Calling something 'baby blues' is a license for doctors not to take it seriously, and many of them don't. Here are some anti-depressants. Now piss off.
Nonetheless, a small proportion of those suffering baby blues descend further into the torment of full-blooded postnatal depression. This is nasty. If your beloved moves into PND territory, she will need all your love and support to get out of it.
Signs to look out for include: heightened anxiety; irrational fears; insomnia; loss of appetite; tendency to stay in pyjamas all day; loss of proportion; withdrawal from the world; feelings of inadequacy and helplessness; strange glint in eye when she looks at kitchen knives; screams like banshee whenever she sees baby. In other words, if she is obviously bonkers, then chances are she has postnatal depression.
How you react is important. Try not to say things like 'Pull yourself together' or 'Snap out of it'. No jury would convict her for your bloody and prolonged murder. Instead, talk to her, listen to her, look after her, cook for her, be there for her. Make sure she is not by herself all the time, even if you are at work for the usual life-saving chunks of daylight. Go to the doctor for her if she won't go for herself. Remember, postnatal depression is only temporary. Either she gets better or it becomes normal depression because it is no longer immediately postnatal. There is always a solution, even if it does not solve anything.
The really scary one is postnatal psychosis. (Has anyone made a film about this yet?) It is said to affect only one in a thousand women, but that seems rather a lot to me. Signs to look out for include: sleeping all day; crying all day; tense, nervous headache; phases of manic jollity; paranoia; hallucinations; occasional tendency to stand on roof with baby and threaten to jump. This is the very sharp end of postnatal depression, requiring instant medical treatment and, usually, hospitalization. If the 1 in 1,000 figure is correct, it means that 20 mothers go completely mad for every one baby that is born with Down's syndrome. I don't know about you, but l'm not sure I wanted to know that.
Incidentally, even if she does manage to avoid the baby blues, she will still find herself crying uncontrollably on the fourth or fifth day after the birth. This is completely normal, happens to everyone, and has nothing to do with the fact that she has just realized that the baby looks like you. To find out more, you can check out Postnatal Psychosis Symptoms.